40th Birthday in Lockdown

It’s been a while since I’ve posted so a little bit to catch up; if you can call it that when you’re in Lockdown! Stay Home, Protect our NHS, Save Lives.

So, 3rd April saw my 40th Birthday!! A birthday I had been looking forward to celebrating for the past year and had lots of ideas and hopes and plans for the whole year! Well, COVID-19 has put pay to that!!

I shouldn’t complain too much as I’ve been on my girls holiday to Dubai and with my lovely husband to London for the weekend. Thank goodness I’ve had that because others have not been so lucky with their plans. Dubai was amazing and had that been just two weeks later; it was unlikely we would have got to go. Again, London was the last weekend when large gatherings were really allowed; before things got cancelled Ona larger scale.

So I know I’ve had it good, but a birthday in lockdown is odd enough but a 40th is just horrible. Any big birthday would be. But I woke up positive determined not to let this virus ruin my day; I mean had it been a week earlier I would actually have been laying ill in bed so at least things were looking up!! I got up, washed and dressed up; even bothering to put make up on!! Sat down with my family and opened presents (I was very spoiled!!); and I had a tiara and birthday badge to put on!! Well I put that on all day!! And I wore them to every video call meeting I had to; well why not?

Our Team Meeting at lunchtime involved a birthday drink, which was a bit of a treat! Was slightly concerned I was the only one with gin for a second but thankfully one of my girls didn’t let me down and joined me on the spirit front!! Phew!! Then at 3.30pm after a second video call, I had a socially distanced Birthday drink with my friend and neighbour – another gin down!! Brilliant!!

For some reason, come 5pm, my emotions started to run all over the place and I really started to feel quite low. I can’t put my finger on why. Maybe it’s the highs of a birthday feeling and the lows of not being able to go anywhere. I don’t really know.

Thankfully in the evening I got together with some of my oldest group of friends on a video call to celebrate my birthday with a few drinks. It was lovely to have drinks and a chat; felt very odd but at least I got to celebrate somehow and with a few people.

A fantastic two hours spent catching up and laughing! It was a lovely way to spend the evening of my 40th.

Since that evening I’ve struggled with my emotions and have been really up and down. I am trying so hard but I have to be honest; I’m finding it really tricky. I’m trying to find things to do to keep my mind busy so I did some colouring today; at least it was productive and creative. But concentrating and being in one place for a prolonged period isn’t really working! I organised for some more puzzles in a swap with a friend too so hopefully that will help. I then organised another drinks evening for Saturday night with our close group of friends. That really helped!! Oh my goodness what a laugh!!

Sunday brought another birthday to the street and another socially distant drink at 4.30pm, which was lovely. Just wish I could shift these feelings. It’s not helping that this cough will not go anywhere and it seems like whenever I eat it makes the cough and breathing worse. I’m sure it’s nothing and it will ease with time but in the meantime it feels pretty rotten!!

Tomorrow marks a return to work and maybe a normal routine will bring a sense of relief and assist in a lift in spirits. Here’s hoping!!

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